Chapter 10: Teaching Career - An Earlier Reminiscence ( Usha Bahenji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July,2026)

Krishna Explains the Secret of Nishkama Karma to Arjuna

 Nishkama Karma or selfless motiveless action leads to bhakti and mukti. Karmas help in attaining Lord Krishna, with a passionate longing for His leelas or divine play, and is the means of acquiring swaraga. In the absence of self interest, the devotee pleases his favoured deity and gradually attains reverence, love and dedicated devotion for Him.

The Lotus Feet of Shri Radha-Krishna

 

Great sages have laid greater stress on acceptance than renunciation in the realm of bhakti. Offering our acts at the feet of Krishna, the Supreme Lover as well as Radha His beloved and by steeping ourselves in their love we become instinctively detached from the mundane world. It is essential to follow the course of karmas  until this condition arises on its own accord.

The Varna Ashram

The underlying essence is that there are two advantages of doing deeds in the Varna Ashram either it heads towards renunciation and we gain knowledge which in turn leads to salvation or ardently longing for God's kirtan and katha we acquire bhakti in the process.

Revered Bahen ji had got a proposition for opening a school. Her father was a man of independent ideas and simply could not support any unethical work of the insurance company which was not in accordance to his principles.This mindset hampered his success and he was forced to leave this job.

We have mentioned earlier that Bahen ji had passed her examination of the tenth class and she was fluent in several languages. Reputed people of Ambala Cantonment knew of her calibre.The Sanatan Dharmis requested her once again to start the school and she agreed. Gangeshwar Nand ji Maharaj, a renowned saint of Vrindavan, was invited and the foundation of the Sanatan Dharam Girls School was laid in the year 1942. Several students and their parents were drawn by Bahen ji's loving tenderness and her multi-faceted persona.

Working in the school for a span of roughly four years, her personal education continued simultaneously. In 1946 Usha ji appeared for B.A. Her marks in English were merely 44 on 140 and she could not pass. On getting the paper rechecked it was found that she had scored 94 per cent and it was a lapse on the clerk's part. She compassionately forgave the erring officer who begged her not to take any action. Appearing for the examination again, she got through with a first class.

Sanatan Dharam Mandir, Ambala

Usha Bahen ji became so popular among students, colleagues, neighbours, lovers of poetry, leaders of independent India, Congress workers, scholars, spiritualists and social-workers that a throng of admirers always longed for her company. The Sanatan Dharmis insisted that she should pitch in if a speaker did not turn up. A thundering voice at kavi sammelans, a perfect rendition at social festivals, spirited lectures at the assembly's functions and fervent speeches of nationalism were her forte.

The Upanishads

As a matter of chance the courtyard of Sanatan Dharam Temple and the school was the same, which doubled her responsiblity. Once a religious function was on and great saints and luminaries had been invited. Shankaracharyaji Maharaj, a guest, could not reach at the time of the sermon.The swelling crowd eager to hear him, turned restless. The Sanatan Dharmis requested their lovable Munno (Usha Bahenji) to help out. When she stood on the dais with her short stature and serious demeanour, the entire scene became serene. She began to speak, ardently citing examples of shlokas from the Upanishadas and Puranas, leaving the scholars spellbound.

After the lecture, Labbu Ram, a luminary, asked her if she had read the shlokas earlier otherwise how could she refer to them so easily. When members of the association questioned her father he proudly revealed that when this girl child was about to be born he would read out episodes of the Shastras and Puranas to her mother. The same reminiscences would spontaneously gush forth when she gave a speech.

At the other end, a certain event made her put in her resignation. Her father happened to be a great upholder of justice. The regime of Sanatan Dharam had to be followed with practicability which invariably led to differences of opinion and he resigned from the Sabha. Bahen ji also supported his rightful reasoning and stepped down from her post. The Sabha was aghast at this decision since students drawn to her unique style of teaching abandoned the school and headed for her residence.The Sanatan Dharmis requested her father once again and she took over charge of the school on his approval.

Freedom Movement of India

The freedom movement of India was at its peak and independence had been accepted in principle. Partition of the nation was certain. Hindus in present day India and Muslims in Pakistan were on the move. Several people left for Pakistan while others headed for India. In the multitude of uprooted people, Pandit Jai Narayan Sharma, working in the Post and Telegraph Department, came to Ambala along with his family. His daughter Shri Sushila Sharma became a close friend and colleague of Bahen ji. In the course of time they became inseparable as their mindsets were identical.

Shri Sushila Bahenji (right) with Bhaktimati Usha Bahenji

Sushila ji attained a divine and transcendent love which is the perennial quest of mankind and soon reached the deeper ecstasies of devotion. It seemed that her taking charge of the ultimate reality (revered Thakurji), had been predestined. Sushila Bahen ji is the one doing Thakurji's seva and attending to His needs with the utmost dedicated devotion.

Chapter 9: Marriage Proposals,Sickness and an Ethereal Experience ( Usha Bahenji's Birth Anniversary: 30th July, 2026)

Hungering Devotees & Supreme Lover Krishna

Krishna is revealed as the Supreme Lover in the fields and forests and down to the streams of Vrindavan. It is here that His hungering devotees represented by the enraptured village girls with whom He sported in His youth are passionately drawn. Lord Krishna alone is male and is seen as the object of longing of the enraptured cowherdesses. The terrifying rush of Shri Radha-Krishna's love invaded Bobo's heart and she could think of of little else.

The protagonist of our biography was about 25 to 26 years old now. The innocence of childhood had stepped into youth, seeking definite answers to the curiosity of adolescence. Above all she belonged to Lord Krishna and longed to live just for Him. Attaining his madhurya or sweet love,she generously distributed it.

Shri Usha Bahenji Belonged to Dark-hued Krishna's Circle

Being very social, marriage proposals for Usha ji poured in to her father. Family members, relatives and others insisted on her tying the knot. Her nana (maternal grand father) went to the extent of offering to bear the entire expenses of the ceremony. He was aware of her religious disposition and impressed by her simple lifestyle even thought she had acquired immense fame. Meanwhile Ushaji steeped in the mysterious love of the dark god, had come from His own parikar for a particular cause. Often she would reiterate that no one can dare to look at the beloved of the Lord who is the sole purusha.

The matter was raised amongst close relatives. Her father very well knew her firm mindset, mature perspective and dedicated religious devotion.

 " Munno is so innocent that she does not have the slightest inkling of what marriage means. I will not be unjust by packing her off with some unknown person and if she wants to get married I will be the last one to stop her,"He would remark.

Drawn by Supreme Lover Krishna

Once her father clarified that he always refused offers which came in but if she had the slightest inclination they could get the most handsome of boys. During those days talk of her chachi's (wife of father's brother) good-looking brother was doing the rounds. One fine day, she saw him passing by and was baffled by worldly standards. Her bonding was with Krishna, the constant and eternal paragon of beauty, so how could she accept a fragment of the Supreme Being with love flowing towards the Supreme Lover.

No one could muster enough courage to suggest otherwise before her firm resolve. Initially the topic was often raised but gradually people understood her intention and vanished with the passage of time.

Ill Health

After some days Bobo ji's health deteriorated. She did not pay heed to small ailments and continued her activities with dexterity and alertness. The fever soon transformed in to typhoid because of her persistent laborious efforts. She had not been fully cured and had a relapse. The fever lasted for twenty-one days this time round. Gradually weakness escalated since she had abandoned the intake of grains on the doctor's advice. Lying down, she was blissfully lost in reminiscences of Lord Krishna, the essence of her life.

On the course of recovering she had a relapse again because of her diligently busy schedule. The fever lasted for ninety days during this time span as expected. Becoming frail, she was bed-ridden now. But had implicit faith that God had ordained an auspicious future. Her intense reverence for prasad stunned her friends and associates.The most dedicated of devotees would disregard having prasad (remnants of food offered to an idol) if they had the slightest bodily discomfort. However, Bahen ji upheld this focused practice till the very end of her life, proving to be an ideal for others.

Bahenji's agony knew no bounds and weakness increased. She had not eaten carbohydrates for months but Ushaji's spiritual strength had not diminished, her parents confirmed. Physically she had become very feeble but her face glowed as Krishna affecting her with a mysterious and sometimes terrifying rush of love, burst forth into her heart. She relished the dark god's madhurya exuded through His acts and gestures, His words and his flute, His clothes and His sports.

One could count her ribs and see the blood coursing through her veins. Even on wanting she could not raise her hand and needed help to turn her side. Bobo confirmed that the ailment and its painful suffering had brought about spiritual enlightenment, thus proving to be the golden period of her life. Episodes of joy and sorrow are like two ends of a cycle and gradually she became better.

The Sudarshan Chakra

On recouping, Bobo ji said that the flaming sudarshan chakra (circular discus of Krishna) would rotate around her every second with an assurance that her immortal protector was concerned about her well-being. By the grace of Lord Krishna she had darsan of several gods and goddesses. She sighted Saraswati Devi and Bhakti Devi posited in the sky. Ushaji saw Tulsi Maharani and Narad ji holding a veena in his hand, Rishi Angira, Shri Ved Vyas, Bhole Nath, Shriman Narayan and several sages blessing her with folded hands. These celestial experiences helped her easily tide over the illness.

While ailing she observed that this sick body was lying down in Ambala while her divine and eternal form was transported to a huge dense tree planted in Govind Ghat, located on the  banks of the Kalindi (name of the river Yamuna said to rise on a mountain Kalinda). 

Addressing Shri Thakur,she writes," I distinctly remember the scene even today. Lord Krishna's beaming moon like face, the loving tenderness of His eyes, passionate but not lustful.

'Probably the Svamini ( Shri Radha) has forgotten and you must instantly remind her to keep the promise.' she entreated.

Shri Radha

In a few moments the palanquin of Kishori Shri Radha arrived and was put down. She could not see who had got the palki. Shri Radha stepped out of the palanquin and hugged her. The contact, its ecstasy and the rush of sweet love was ecstatic. 

Nudging her Priyaji asked,' What do you want now?'

Becoming One with Krishna

Ushaji pleaded for union with her teasing, elusive and insistent paramour and His transcendent love, and was silent. 

"Okay! It shall be granted," caressing the back of her head, Priyaji affirmed,

Thrilled at her loving assurance, Ushaji raved about the radiant splendour of Radha Rani, wearing a vermilion-coloured lehenga, a sky blue odhni and a pink kanchuki with zardosi work on its sleeves."

Gradually her health improved and illness took a back seat. An enthused exultation and zeal were apparent in her persona. Bahen ji had fully recovered by now and ate well. It became easy to commute to the temple. Meanwhile the Sanatan Dharam Association felt the need to open a girl's school and they trusted Bahen ji for this task. Its members insisted that she take charge and Bobo agreed to do so.

Chapter 8: Poems and Compositions (Usha Bahenji's Birth Anniversary:30th July,2026)

'Bhakti Rasamrta Sindhu'

It is said that Lord Krishna is the tangible form of rasa or human emotions. When the various bhavas of Vaishnavism become the sancharis of rati, and we relish the religious devotion of Radha and Krishna with energy and joyfulness and love it is known as rasa; says Shri Roop Goswami Paad in his 'Bhakti Rasamrta Sindhu.'

Shri Radha-Krishna have been the stimuli of Ushan Bahenji's poems. The terrifying rush of Their love and her experiences were bound in writing and published before us.

Shri Usha Bahenji(left) with Close Friend Sushila Bahenji

She had a natural flair for writing poetry and hailed from the family of Shri Banwari Lal Shola. Her dadi used to write poetry. Ushaji's father wrote by the name of 'Hatil Kairanvi' in Urdu and his compilation 'Barishen' was published in the Devanagari script. Being a friend, he encouraged her and she had the good fortune to attend and recite in several kavya sammelans and mushairas. Ushaji once told Sushilaji, a close friend, that she had written her first poem when she was in the fifth class. She wrote about the current national and historical scene otherwise spirituality was the essence of her compositions.

During her career as a teacher she had to write books on grammar, geography and mathematics. A vast collection of her hand-written poems is safely preserved with us; where renunciation along with surrender to the divine and absorption in the devotion of Radha-Krishna coexist with dalliance as well as infatuation. Reaching for the deeper ecstasies of devotion, she has lovingly explained several stotras, padas and shlokas.

Though Usha Bahen ji had a lean body and short height, no one could stand up to her self-assurance and discerning conscience. At times she would create an uproar from the Congress dais and sometimes people would pour into the Study Circle's hall to witness her wonderful compositions. People were invariably drawn to Bahen ji reciting her poems with implicit self-confidence and a simple bhava.

Revered Bobo ji interpreted several religious texts. A detailed study of nearly every scripture of most sampradayas, an explicit thought process, significant voice, measured answers and an original perspective of the shastras were her innate virtues.

'Lila Rasa Madhuri'

After coming to Vrindavan her spontaneous poetry revolved around the dalliance of Radha-Krishna and their love centred in celestial Vrindavan and Vraj; relishing their constant closeness and the madhuri, sweetness, of their divine play. Soon after, she met several saints, academicians and goswamis who raved that such an extensive study of rasa texts as undertaken by her was beyond conception.

Shri Atul Krishna Goswami, Shri Jagannath Prasad Bhaktmali, Shri Prabhu Dutt Brahmachari. Shri Kripa Sindhu Das Baba ji and other luminaries always praised her erudition.

Gaudiya Literature

An incident which dates back to 28-30 years is worth mentioning. Once she had the good fortune to meet Shri Deen Sharan Baba, well-versed in Gaudiya religious texts. Gaudiya literature had not been translated into Hindi untill then. Bahenji had already read most of the scriptures he inquired about and he was amazed at her vast knowledge.

Shri Hit Harivansh Mahaprabhu, Founder of Radha Vallabha Sect

Shri Lalit Charan Goswami of the Radha Vallabha Sampradaya was immensely impressed by her learning, expression of feelings and seva of Shri Thakur. An unbiased interpretation of padas without any prejudice was the forte of Bahen ji.

Shri Anand Das Baba Maharaj

Revered Shri Anand Das Baba Maharaj was a great scholar of grammar and always raved about her learning and lucidity of expression.

Shri Vihari Das of Vrindavan, Dr. Achyut Lal Bhatt, Shri Kishori Raman Acharya, Shri Gokul Das Shastri and other doyens were influenced by Usha ji's literary style and original thought process.

Literature on Shri Radha-Krishna

Instinctively she appraised Shri Radha-Krishna literature and revering Guru Raghavendra, she was fortunate enough to study all literary works related to him.

The manuscripts of her compositions mentioned below are safely stashed with us:-

1. She wrote books on grammar, geography and mathematics during her tenure as a teacher. The works are taught in recognised colleges of the Punjab University.

Rasa of Braj, Vrindavan

2.Free padas (verses of devotional poetry esp intended to be sung) which abound with nationalism, social influence, religion, the yearly utsavs of Shri Thakur, incessant seva of Thakur ji and the rasa of Braj-Vrindavan can be roughly summed up to a huge repertoire of 2500 verses.

3.Some literary works penned in prose.

4.A total number of 2500 letters related to spirituality have been written to devotees.

A sentimental interpretation of several stotras or hymns of praise.

Shri Radha-Krishna Kripakatash

a) Shri Radha-Krishna Kripa Kataksha

b)Shri Yamuna Ashtakam - Shri Shankaracharyaji Maharaj

c)Shri Krishnasya Anandakhyam Stotra - Shri Roop Goswami

d)Shri Krishna Lila Amritakhyam Stotra - Shri Roop Goswami

e)Shri Braj Anand Kandam Stotra - Shri Vithal Nath ji

f)Pratah Stavah - Shri Nimbarkacharya ji

g)Shri Radhika Ashtakam - Shri Raghunath Das ji

h)Sakhi Hay! Gokul Raj Kumaram - Shri Prabhodananda Saraswati

i)Braj Raj Sut Ashtakam

j)Shri Madhava Ashtakam

k)Shri Charne Vidhehi

l) Gopi Geet

m)Pranya Geet

We have mentioned earlier that the objective of Bahenji's writing was not some spirited endeavour to create poetry. But the mysterious and terrifying rush of Krishna's love invaded her heart and filling her life with inspiration and delight transformed into verses. These works were published for us from time to time.

Mentioned below are some of the stotras/scriptures which could not be completed:-

a) Shri Krishna Lila Amrit Rasayan Stotra - Shri Vallabhacharyaji Maharaj

Shri Krishna Karnamrita

b)Shri Krishna Karnamrita - Shri Billabh Mangal Surdas ji

c)Shri Radha Sahasranam

d)Shri Gopal Sahasranam

e)On-Radha Sudha Nidhi

f)Spriha-netra-shravan-sparsh and nasika

g)Vrindavan Shatak

h)Hans Doot